After my stomach knotted a bit and I started a silent prayer, I agreed that he might want to open a Facebook account. However, I explained to him there would be positive “situations.” Like any baby these days, Nathan regularly comes to their parents with requests for this issue or that factor he virtually cannot live without. And he usually comes prepared with convincing arguments. He desperately needs a cell phone, the present-day gaming innovation, or some other 15 songs from iTunes.
His cases are strong. However, my husband and I believe that Nathan should not get everything he asks for. If he did, what might there be to look ahead, work toward, and dream about? Nathan doesn’t have an Xbox, PlayStation, or Wii. He doesn’t own a PSP and has never ad a GameBoy.
All that being said, Nathan has constantly had a pc. Starting at three years old with a kid’s VTech PC bought from ToysRUs, he’s upgraded to the cutting-edge, best, yet affordable model every few years. But the creme de la creme turned into the iMac he was given for Christmas last year. He does not pass over out on a whole lot. He gets to play video games (only those made for a PC). Along with his computer, he also creates music using his guitar and data, enhances songs with GarageBand, adds unique soundtracks to his iMovies, and uses it to do his homework. Though not too extra, we inspire his laptop interest.
While Nathan approached me with his Facebook request, I said “yes,” albeit with some trepidation. Like most dads and moms, I have heard horror stories and knew the danger that the Internet and websites like Facebook and MySpace could motivate an inclined teen. But I’m also proposing to inform and instruct our kids that when they mature, they can make the right selections for themselves in the order they develop. In the meantime, from a toddler to a young person, this is so difficult nowadays and causes us, parents, to go gray, especially with the added risk of the Internet.
So it is why the “situations.” I defined to Nathan that it becomes loads like using a car. His father or I could not be brilliant enough to hand over the keys at sixteen or 17 and anticipate him to operate a vehicle effectively without proper schooling, coaching, and steering. The same is true with the Internet and, in this situation, having a Facebook account. There are matters he desires to know to keep himself secure, guard his privacy and that of his buddies, and understand the “ins and outs” of safe maneuvering through a teenager’s social network.
So what had been these “situations?”
1. The electronic mail Nathan registered his Facebook account with changed into one I had access to. At any time, I should cross into his account, glance, and make sure the whole thing on his Facebook meets the “Mom and Dad Everything Looks Okay” check. Also, something written on his Wall got me through email notification.
2. He agreed to “Random Facebook Reviews,” where we’d ask him to take us through his account. These had been meant to be educational, essentially amusing, low-key opinions of what he shared in his profile, photographs (if any) he displayed, what turned into written by his buddies on his Wall, bumper stickers he gathered, and other matters he would possibly have to be had for view with the aid of his buddies.
3. He may want the most effective “Friend” youngsters he knew and simply no adults (except his dad, me, and Aunt Carol).
4. The PC he used might be placed in a public spot in our residence and in no way in his room or behind a closed door. We continuously adjust as things trade, like Facebook updates and new functions, but the operative word here is “we.” It’s a “family affair.” Nathan knows that mothers and fathers are involved because we’re most worried about his protection and now, not about seeking to seize him doing something incorrectly. It’s not continually smooth cruising; we do have conflicts. However, the critical factor is that we keep the conversation traces open.
And you realize I’ve noticed a few fantastic effects with Facebook. Enjoy, as well. The teenage years are regularly difficult territory to move. Specifically the early young adults. Some young adults maturing fast while others are no longer so much. And it’s hard on both the boys and ladies. But what I’m picking up via the messages and different Facebook conversations from Nathan’s “friends,” each boy and lady, is the ease with which they communicate through this medium.
Bypassing that awkwardness that we encountered as teens. I asked Nathan if Facwhetherade made it less difficult to talk to women or different human beings he might not typically meet in his institution of friends. He agreed it turned into a pressure-loose, amusing way to speak to someone he might not commonly sense relaxed speaking to.
Facebook also allows all to personalize their space, encouraging our kids to be creative and giving “pals” an image of what makes our kids so special. Finally, it provides a backdrop for educational conversations with our youngsters. For instance, a few weeks ago, I saw a few emails saying that we’re no longer favorable towards a positive young female. I used it as a getting-to-know opportunity, emphasizing empathy and reminding Nathan that he might not want others to speak about him and that his friends had been discussing this young girl. We are gaining knowledge of opportunities that, without Facebook, we probably could have missed.
As I’m scripting this, Nathan comes into my office and asks, “Hey, Mom, there’s a humorous bumper sticker label about (a few marginally inappropriate sayings). What do you watch? Can I position it on my FaceBook? I think it’s hilarious!! “Alright,” I agree, reminding myself that that is a predictable developmental milestone. I’m now not too vintage to remember what I was like at that age. Pick your battles, Susan; select your battles.